Meditation, now

My current natural high aside, every inch of the last weeks point in the same direction, that the only approach that works is here and now, and the limitations are the confines of our own cravings and thinking. "Meditation" works. Being vulnerable and letting go works. Paying attention to Heaven here, it is the only place, or as good as any. (I was wondering that if in a session I would experience something this lifelike I would be amazed.) If we can, when we can, much harder when ill, pressed, exclusively identifying with the lacking part, lost, etc. Fear and desire is stubbornly here. Ideas, regulation from the past does not work. External frameworks help us for a while. I can see my internal framework close back and also to ease.
I do not kill (if I can). Somehow this feels important to state.
That holds me back also, but I do not mind, this is what I do.
I think I just prefer good connections. Sorting them out is the hard part.